Marriage is Out!

My daily morning perusing of Yahoo's homepage led me to the following article that sparked my interest: "Four in 10 say marriage is becoming obsolete."  Some might say that because I'm married I'd completely disagree with the 40% of Americans (up from 28% in the 70's) that feel marriage is completely unnecessary, but you'd be wrong because I'm also a firm believer in different strokes for different folks.  I believe in companionship and spending your life with a partner, but I am having a hard time buying into the notion that just because you're married to your partner that your life is going to be better or more fulfilled.  Without getting all political or religious marriage is really something that should be a right to every human being.  Heaven knows there are plenty of ignorant and moronic heterosexuals that enter into marriage blindly and end up with a divorce or annulment 30 days later.  What's more disheartening is attending a wedding for someone and knowing in the back of your head and heart, "This isn't going to work out for them," etc, etc, etc. 

Any single parent would tell you that there is nothing harder than being a single parent, but marriage does not guarantee that you won't end up a single parent.  At least once a day you will hear a story on the news about a deadbeat or abusive husband and/or father.  A piece of paper saying that you are legally bound to one another is not going to make a lazy or philandering man suddenly a good provider or a nurturing partner.  Same holds true for women, just because you're a wife doesn't mean you're going to morph into June Beaver or Carol Brady.   

Recently, I was told that every marriage needs an unbiased third party (therapist/pastor/rabbi) that both partners feel they can speak with openly to work through minor and major issues.  I'd venture to say the reason that 40% of people surveyed feel marriage is obsolete is because marriage vows are really not adhered to - people lie, they cheat, they disrespect their spouses - and unlike 50 years ago society's regulations do not force us to stick around and try to make horrible situations work - you can go out and get a divorce.  Not that going through a divorce is a walk in the park - it's listed as one of the top 5 stresses that a person will ever go through. 

Perhaps, people are beginning to feel that the negative attributes of marriage and potential divorce outweigh it's positive attributes.  I'd disagree, life is about taking chances and marriage in modern times really is a huge gamble.  Do what makes you happy!